AY Honors/Christian Grooming & Manners/Answer Key

Table manners are the etiquette used when eating. This includes the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures have different standards for table manners. Many table manners evolved out of practicality. For example, it is generally impolite to put elbows on tables since doing so creates a risk of tipping over bowls and cups. Within different families or groups, there may be less rigorous enforcement of some traditional table manners of their culture while still maintaining others. For example, some families ignore elbows on the table or mixing of foods.

Afghan table manners

• The eldest should be seated as far from the door as possible, unless there are guests present, then the guests are seated farthest from the door.
• Depending on the customs of the household a prayer may be offered before and/or after the meal.
• Guests are offered food first, and ought to eat the most, while the hosts eat last and the least.
• Guests should refrain from eating too much, unless the hosts coaxes them to eat more. The host should always ask at least three times if the guest wants more food. The guest should say no at least three times to the host. In certain situations the host can put food on the guest's plate by force.
• Guests are always given the best portions of the food.
• Traditionally food should be eaten with bare hands; However, cutlery is sometimes provided. Only use your right hand when eating with your hands. There are proper ways of picking up rice and other loose food without spilling any, which one should learn and practice. Wasting food is frowned upon. When cutlery is provided it is usually a spoon and fork since there is seldom need for the use of a knife when eating Afghani food. Even when cutlery is provided it is acceptable to eat with your hands interchangeably.
• Soup is eaten by soaking bread in it.
• Food remnants should be collected with slices of bread.
• Sometimes it is common to eat collectively from one plate. One should always eat from one's own side.
• If eating on a table and bread is dropped on the floor the bread should picked up and kissed and put to one's forehead before putting back somewhere other than the floor. If eating on the floor make sure that your feet do not touch the food.
• Compliments to the chef are customary; however, compliments should be returned with extreme modesty.
• Traditionally, service during dinner is performed by the youngest. First, water is brought in a jug with a saucer to wash the hands. The food is then served. This may be followed by fruit and then tea.
• Tea is served after dinner, with dried fruits, sweets, and sugar cubes. When tea is served, the cup of a guest must never be empty, and snacks must be offered. Once the guest has finished drinking tea, the guest can flip their tea cup over to signal that they are done.
• Eating or talking with one's mouth full is looked down upon.
• Even if one is starving one should refrain from being over zealous at the table.
• Passing wind is not tolerated.
• One must never sit with one's back to anyone, especially an elder or a guest. One must never sit with feet stretched out toward anyone, especially an elder or a guest.
• One must always be polite and gracious to the host. Remember if the host is poor and had only one chicken which the family used for eggs that chicken would be sacrificed for the guest.
• After eating, the jug of water is brought out again to wash hands. A towel may be provided.

American table manners

Table Layout

• Bread plates are to the left of the main plate, beverage glasses are to the right.
• Salad fork, knife and soup spoon are further from the main plate than the main course knife, fork and spoon. Dessert utensils are either placed above the main plate or served with dessert.

General Behavior

• Chew with your mouth closed.
• Do not talk at an excessively loud volume.
• Refrain from coughing, sneezing or blowing nose at the table.
• Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any other time.
• Do not make unbecoming noises while eating.
• Do not play with food or table utensils.
• Do not single out or chastise someone who has shown poor table manners.
• Do not put your elbows on the table or slouch. It is acceptable, however, to rest for-arms, up to the elbow, on the table.
• Always ask the host or hostess to be excused before leaving the table.
• Do not stare at anyone while he or she is eating.
• Never talk on your phone at the table. If urgent, ask host or hostess to be excused, and go outside. Apologize when returned.

Utensils

• Do not eat food with your fingers unless you are eating foods customarily eaten with fingers, such as bread, French fries, chicken wings, pizza, etc. At more formal occasions, it is acceptable to eat asparagus or some romaine lettuce dishes with ones hands. However, as this is an obscure etiquette rule, in more casual settings, it is customary to use utensils.
• The fork may be used either in the American (use the fork in your left hand while cutting; switch to right hand to pick up and eat a piece) or the Continental (fork remains in the left hand) fashion -- either is now acceptable. (See Fork etiquette)
• The fork is used to convey any solid food to the mouth.
• The knife blade should be placed on the edge of your plate when not in use. The blade should always face inward.
• When you have finished eating soup, the spoon should be placed to the side of the saucer, not left in the bowl.
• Keep your napkin on your lap. At more formal occasions all diners will wait to place their napkins on their laps until the host or hostess places his or her napkin on his or her lap
• When eating barbecue or some other messy foods such as cracked crab, a 'bib' napkin may be provided for and used by adults. Usually these foods are also eaten by hand, and wet wipes or paper napkins should be used to clean the hands.
• When using paper napkins, never ball them up or allow stains to show.
• Use your silverware from the outside moving inward toward the main plate. (Salad fork, knife and soup spoon are further from the main plate than the main course knife, fork and spoon. Dessert utensils are either placed above the main plate or served with dessert.)

Dining

• A prayer or 'blessing' may be customary in some families, and the guests should join in even if they are not religious or do not follow the same religion. Most prayers are made by the host before the meal is eaten. Instead or in addition, a 'toast' may be offered [1].
• Do not start eating until (a) every person is served or (b) those who have not been served request that you begin without waiting. At more formal occasions all diners will wait to begin until the hostess or host lifts a fork or spoon.
• When a dish is presented 'family style', the food is served to one's plate and then passed on to the next person. put the food on your left, take some and pass to the person next to you.
• When serving, serve from the left and pick up the dish from the right. Beverages are both served and removed from the right.
• Eat soup noiselessly and with the side of the spoon.
• Tea or coffee should never be poured into the saucer to cool but should be sipped from the cup. Alternatively, ice may be used to cool either.
• Seasoning ones meal prior to tasting can be considered rude and may insult the chef.

At the end of the meal

• It is acceptable in most places to not finish all of the food on your plate.
• When finished with your meal, place your knife and fork with handles at the 4 o'clock position and the tines of the fork down to signal to the server you are done.
• Except in a public restaurant, do not ask to take some of your uneaten food away from the meal after it ends, and never when attending a formal dinner.

British table manners

• The fork is held in your left hand and the knife is held in your right.
• You should hold your knife with the handle in your palm and your fork in the other hand with the prongs pointing downwards.
• If you’re eating a dessert, your fork (if you have one) should be held in the left hand and the spoon in the right.
• When eating soup, you should hold your spoon in your right hand and tip the bowl away from you, scooping the soup in movements away from yourself.
• It is not acceptable to use your fingers at the table to eat or push food onto your fork. You may, however, eat some foods such as fruit, sandwiches, hamburgers, crisps, chips or pizza with your fingers.
• If there are a number of knives or forks, then you should start from the outside set working your way in as each course is served.
• Drinks should always be to the right of your plate with the bread roll to the left.
• When eating bread rolls, break off a piece before buttering. Use your knife only to butter the bread, not to cut it.
• You should not start eating before your host does or instructs you to do so. At larger meals, it is considered okay to start eating once others have been served.
• When you’re finished, place your knife and fork together at five o’clock with your fork on the left (tines facing up) and knife on the right, with the knife blade facing in. This signals that you are finished.
• Your napkin should never be screwed up. Nor should it be folded neatly as that would suggest that your host might plan to use it again without washing it - just leave is neatly but loosely.
• Never blow your nose on your napkin. Place it on your lap and use it to dab your mouth if you make a mess.
• It is considered rude to answer the telephone at the table. If you need to take an urgent call, excuse yourself and go outside.
• Always ask for permission from the host and excuse yourself if you need to leave the table. You should place your napkin on your seat until you return.
• If you must leave the table or are resting, your fork should be at eight o’clock and your knife at four o’clock (with the blade inwards). Once an item of cutlery has been used, it should not touch the table again.
• The food should be brought to your mouth on the fork; you should sit straight and not lean towards your plate.
• Dishes should be served from the right, and taken away from the right. Unless the food is placed on your plate at the table, then it should arrive from the left.
• Drinks should be served from the right.
• Never lean across somebody else’s plate. If you need something to be passed, ask the person closest to it. If you have to pass something, only pass it if you are closest to it and pass it directly to them if you can.
• Salt & pepper should be passed together.
• Do not take food from a neighbour’s plate and don’t ask to do so.
• You must not put your elbows on the table.
• If pouring a drink for yourself, offer to pour a drink for your neighbours before serving yourself.
• If extra food is on the table, ask others first if they would like it before taking it yourself.
• When chewing food, close your mouth and only talk when you have swallowed it.
• Swallow all food before eating more or having a drink.
• Do not slurp your food or eat loudly. Burping or sneezing at the table should be avoided, too.
• Never pick food out of your teeth with your fingernails.
• Try to eat all the food you are served.
• Glasses served in a wine glass or other stemmed-glass should be held at the stem.
• Always remember “regular” manners. Remember to say "please" and "thank you".

Chinese table manners

These are mostly concerned with the use of chopsticks. Otherwise generally Chinese table manners are rather more informal, what would be considered rude in other cultures such as talking with the mouth full may be acceptable but better not to do so.

• Chopsticks must always be held in the correct manner. It should be held between the thumb and fingers of the right hand,
• Chopsticks are traditionally held in the right hand only, even by the left-handed. Although chopsticks may now be found in either hand, a few still consider left-handed chopstick use improper etiquette. One explanation for the treatment of such usage as improper is that this can symbolise argument, as the chopsticks may collide between the left-handed and right-handed user.
• When communal chopsticks are supplied with shared plates of food, it is considered impolite to use your own chopsticks to pick up the food from the shared plate or eat using the communal chopsticks. An exception to this rule is made in intimate family dinners where family members may not mind the use of one's own chopsticks to transfer food.
• It is considered impolite to use the blunt end of the chopsticks to transfer food from a common dish to your own plate or bowl. Use the communal chopsticks instead.
• Never wave your chopsticks around as if they were an extension of your hand gestures, bang them like drumsticks, or use them to move bowls or plates.
• Decide what to pick up before reaching with chopsticks. Do not hover around or poke looking for special ingredients. After you have picked up an item, do not put it back in the dish.
• When picking up a piece of food, never use the tips of your chopsticks to poke through the food as if you were using a fork. Exceptions include tearing larger items apart such as vegetables. In informal use, small, difficult to pick-up items such as cherry tomatoes or fishballs may be stabbed but this use is frowned upon by traditionalists.
• Chopsticks can be rested horizontally on one's plate or bowl to keep them off the table entirely. A chopstick rest can also be used to keep the points off the table.
• Never stab chopsticks into a bowl of rice, leaving them standing upwards. Any stick-like object facing upward resembles the incense sticks that some Asians use as offerings to deceased family members. This is considered the ultimate faux pas on the dining table.
• Chinese traditionally eat rice from a small bowl held in the left hand. The rice bowl is raised to the mouth and the rice pushed into the mouth using the chopsticks. Some Chinese find it offensive to scoop rice from the bowl using a spoon. If rice is served on a plate, as is more common in the West, it is acceptable and more practical to eat it with a fork or spoon. The thumb must always be above the edge of the bowl.
• It is acceptable to transfer food to people who have a close relation with you (e.g. parents, grandparents, children or significant others) if you notice they are having difficulty picking up the food. Also it is a sign of respect to pass food to the elderly first before the dinner starts (part of the Confucian tradition of respecting seniors).
• Traditionally, it is polite for the youngest members of the table to address each and everyone of the elderly members of the table before a meal starts and literally tell them to "eat rice", which means "go ahead and start the meal", to show respect.
• The host should always make sure the guests drinks are sufficiently full. One should not pour for ones self, but should (if thirsty) offer to pour for a neighbor. When your drink is being poured, you should say "thank you" and/or tap your fingers on the table to show appreciation.
• When people wish to clink drinks together in the form of a cheer, it is important to observe that younger members should clink the edge of their drink below the edge of an elder to show respect.
• When eating food that contains bones, it is customary that the bones be spit out onto the table to the right of the dining plate in a neat pile.

Filipino table manners

• Food is usually eaten with Western cutlery, though with variation: the tablespoon is the main utensil, held in the right hand; the left hand holds the fork, but only as a helper to scoop food into the spoon as well as to pick up portions of food. Unlike other Asian cultures, it is not considered a faux pas to use a knife to cut foods into smaller portions at the dining table.

• Eating using the hands is acceptable in some cases - although rare these days, especially in the urbanised areas of the country. One would find this practice mostly in rural areas.

• Eating with hands is not practised in formal dining situations, except of course with foods that normally are consumed that way, such as table breads (i.e., buttered buns), and other delicacies. Generally, mid-level restaurants and social gatherings are not appropriate venues for this, whereas this may be done at home.

• When eating, it is unethical to place elbows on the table.

• Pangalumbaba or an act of supporting the chin with hands is considered a disrespectful manner while eating.

• It is considered bad manners to talk when mouth is full. A person should finish chewing first before he should speak.

• When visiting another's home, it is customary for the host to provide drinks and some snacks for the guests. It is very important for the guest to accept this offering. To do otherwise would be a serious insult or put-down to the host.

• In situations where the guests may already have full stomachs, it is best to at least eat smaller portions of the food. Food may only be declined in the severest of circumstances, practically limited exclusively to allergies and other medical conditions.

• Consuming all of the food on your plate is considered good manners, as this is an indication that you are satisfied with the food prepared. Leftover food, however, is not necessarily bad manners.

• Sometimes making slight noises such as "mmm!" while eating or commenting the host on the dishes is another sign of appreciation.

• Filipinos love to laugh. It's important to smile and laugh along with everyone else even if you may be quiet or shy, for it signifies that you are enjoying your time and not bored.

• Certain Western customs (especially American ones) may apply, but the practice is inconsistent. Different families or different places vary in their application of Western table manners.

French table manners

• Both hands must be above the table at the same time. They cannot be below the table even if they are together. This rule comes from medieval times, where the king feared assassination. To make sure he was able to dine safely, all persons dining with him kept their hands above the table where they could be seen at all times. The action of putting your hands below the table was interpreted as an attempt to grab your dagger and assassinate the king.
• Remember to always say please and thank you - s'il vous plait and merci
• It is considered good manners to finish everything on your plate.
• Do not put ice in your wine. At restaurants, wine is served at the temperature at which it is meant to be enjoyed.
• After you have finished eating, place the cutlery parallel together, vertically at the center of your plate. Then, the waiter will know to take away your plate.
• While you are still eating your meal, place the cutlery to the sides of your plate at 4:00 and 8:00, opposite sides of the plate, signifying to the waiter that you wish to keep your plate.
• Should you want more wine, finish your glass, but to signify that you have had enough to drink, leave some wine in your glass.
• When dining at another's residence, do not use salt or pepper. This is an insult to the person who cooked the meal and is interpreted as "You did not get it right."

Indian table manners

• Wait for the host or the eldest person to start first.
• You should maintain silence while eating food. You are not expected to chat unnecessarily with the people around the table.
• It is acceptable to not use cutlery for eating, as many foods - such as Indian breads and curry - are best enjoyed when eating with the hand.
• Wash hands thoroughly before sitting at the table as some Indian foods are primarily eaten by hand. Also, wash hands after eating the food. Usually, a finger bowl (with luke warm water and lemon) is served per person for rinsing fingers.
• In North India, when eating curry, the gravy must not be allowed to stain the fingers --only the fingertips are used. However, in South India, it is acceptable to use more of your hand.
• When flatbreads such as chapati, roti, or naan are served with the meal, it is acceptable and expected to use pieces of them to gather food and sop-up gravies and curries.
• The cardinal rule of dining is to always use the right hand when eating or receiving food and never the left. Even a piece from the bread is broken using the right hand alone.
• It is considered unhygienic to use your spoon or fingers to share food from someone else's plate once you have started using your own. Instead, ask for a clean spoon to transfer the food to your plate from the common dish.
• When eating with hands, always eat with right, as mentioned above. However, use only the other clean hand to transfer food from a common dish on the table.
• It is not necessary to taste each and every dish prepared; but you must finish everything on the plate as it is considered a respect for served food. For that reason, take only as much food on the plate you can finish.
• Footwear that is used outside must not be worn inside the house (in some homes) as it is considered unhygienic.

Japanese table manners

• Never place chopsticks stuck vertically into a bowl of food, as this is the traditional presentation form for an offering to one's ancestors.
• Accepted practice in helping oneself to a communal dish such as a salad, is to reverse the chopsticks. However this is regarded in an all male, or casual situation, as too formal and additionally, a female habit.
• Women should cup their other hand beneath their serving when using chopsticks when conveying food from dish/bowl to mouth. Men should not do this.
• In communal dining or drinking, the youngest person present should pour alcohol for the other members of the party, serving the most senior person first. The server should not pour their own drink, rather they should place the bottle of sake, beer, wine or spirits, back on the table or bar, and wait to be served by a senior.
• One should always clean one's hands before dining with the hot steamed towel provided.
• Japanese soup is eaten holding the bowl to one's mouth, never with a spoon. The exceptions to this are o-zoni, the traditional soup served on New Year's Day; soups with noodles are served in larger bowls, such as ramen, are acceptable to eat using chopsticks, although the soup itself is still consumed from bowl to mouth.
• It is perfectly acceptable, rather, encouraged to make a slurping noise when eating hot noodles such as udon, ramen or soba. This is standard behaviour in Japan, and Japanese maintain that inhaling air when eating hot noodles improves the flavor.
• When taking a break from eating during a meal, one should place one's chopsticks on the chopstick rest (hashi-oki) provided. A hashi-oki is usually a ceramic rectangle about four centimeters long, or in some restaurants, a halved wine cork is provided.
• Unlike Korean table manners, it is acceptable to cradle one's rice bowl in one hand when eating.
• One should not gesture using chopsticks.
• Never pass food from one pair of chopsticks to another. This technique is used only in Japanese Buddhist funerary rites when transferring cremated bones into an urn.
• When pouring wine or beer, the hand holding the bottle should pour forward, not backward (over the back of the hand) which is considered an insult.

There are additional etiquette rules specifically for sushi, especially in a restaurant.

• It is acceptable to eat sushi with one's fingers, rather than chopsticks, if the dining situation is relatively casual (this also applies to dining out at a kaitenzushi restaurant).
• When possible, sushi pieces and sections of cut rolls should be eaten in a single bite, or held in the hand until finished; setting half a piece back down on the plate is considered rude.
• Nigiri sushi (fish on rice) and maki (rolls) may be eaten with the hands; sashimi (pieces of raw fish) should be eaten with chopsticks.

Malay table manners

• Footwear must not be worn in a Malay home due to hygienic reasons.
• As a guest, if you feel that you cannot consume more food, it is courteous to turn it down by eating a small morsel or by graciously declining it altogether.
• Remember that the right hand is always used for eating the traditional Malay way - NEVER the left hand since that it is considered unclean.
• Have the oldest person served first (disregard whether it is a male or female).
• Always cover your mouth when toothpicking.
• Always turn your head away from the table if you are sneezing or coughing.
• For functions that require guests to sit down on the floor, men should sit crossed-legged and not stretch them
• Pointing your feet at others is impolite - point your feet away from them.
• You must leave some drinking beverage in the glass or cup after you finish drinking.
• Never leave your plate dry after eating.
• Don't hit or knock on an empty plate as it is considered calling the devils.
• Do not put back dishes to its original place when you have taken it to your plate.
• Do not talk when you mouth is full as it is considered rude.

Pakistani table manners

Pakistani table manners are a mixture of Islamic teachings, south Asian tradition and British influence:

• Always eat with your right hand, even if you're a left-handed person
• Do not chew so loudly that someone else can hear it
• Chew with your mouth closed
• If hands are being used, they should be washed properly before and after eating
• Eat everything on the plate; leaving some food is considered wasteful
• Eating additional servings is considered polite and a compliment to the host
• When using a knife and fork, eat American style switching fork from left to right hand or keep knife in left hand
• Do not start eating until the eldest in the family eats first
• It is acceptable to mix foods
• If eating food with bread, first tear bread in half. Then break off a small piece, only using your right hand if you can do so elegantly. Use bread to pinch or scoop food between thumb and fingers.

-These are very general manners, they differ from area to area and might not always be noticed

Peruvian table manners

Table manners follow most of the European standards, although there are some implications with regards to typical dishes or local traditions.

• Leftover Ceviche lemon juice can be poured into a glass following consumption of the fish pieces. This accepted practice is called the "drinking of the tiger's milk".
• Beer drinking in a group setting should be carried out solely with one glass. A small shot of beer should be rapidly poured into this glass and time-effectively consumed. The glass should then be passed to the left.

Russian table manners

• It is polite to leave a bit of food at the end of the meal to show the host that their hospitality was plentiful and appreciated. In addition, the host will often urge the guests for second helpings of food.
• It is improper to look into another's plate or saucer.
• Remember to say "Thanks, everything was very tasty" to the one who made the dish upon leaving the table.
• Small food should not be cut.
• No elbows on the table.
• No unpleasant noises.
• In general, one should not be stuffy or overly ceremonial. Especially if the meal is in someone's home, conviviality and relaxation outrank propriety. A guest is expected to contribute to the fun of the party.
• Don't talk while eating.

See also

• Intercultural competence
• Montreal-Philippines cutlery controversy
• Fork etiquette

External links

Malaysia

• General dining etiquette

United States

• Dining Etiquette Lessons on CD
• Job interview dining etiquette
• Job interview dining etiquette Q & A
• General dining etiquette

References

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