AY Honors/Christian Grooming & Manners/Answer Key

1. What well-balanced combination of strengths did Jesus develop as a growing youth? (Luke 2:52)

"And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." - Luke 2:52

This verse indicates that Jesus grew mentally (wisdom) as well as physically (stature). He also grew spiritually (in favor with God) and emotionally (in favor with men). These four aspects of personal growth are the focus of the Adventist education system as well as the Pathfinder program.

2. According to Psalm 8 what estimate does God place on your personal worth?

The New International Version translates Psalm 8 as follows:

1 O LORD, our Lord,

how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory

above the heavens.

2 From the lips of children and infants

you have ordained praise

because of your enemies,

to silence the foe and the avenger.

3 When I consider your heavens,

the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?

5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings

and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;

you put everything under his feet:

7 all flocks and herds,

and the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the air,

and the fish of the sea,

all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord,

how majestic is your name in all the earth!

This is saying that God sees man as the crowning (most significant) act of His creation. He made us a little lower than the angels in importance and gave us the charge to rule/manage the rest of his creation.

3. Are names important to God? Does He know your name? (Isaiah 43:1, Exodus 33:17, Isaiah 45:4)

These three verses are quoted from the New International Version:

Isaiah 34:1

But now, this is what the LORD says—

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Israel:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Exodus 33:17

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."

Isaiah 45:4

For the sake of Jacob my servant,

of Israel my chosen,

I summon you by name

and bestow on you a title of honor,

though you do not acknowledge me.

Names are important enough to God that He has protected His own name in the Ten Commandments. He knows each of us by name which also signifies His personal interest us individually.

4. Demonstrate or discuss proper conversational skills, including:

a. The proper way to talk to adults

Children should address adults using the words Mr, Mrs, and Miss outside of church, or Brother, Sister in a church setting followed by that person's last name. They should avoid using an adult's first name unless it is also used with a last name. For example, "I talked to John about borrowing his tools," would be considered disrespectful, but saying "I talked to John Smith about borrowing his tools" or "I talked to Mr. Smith about borrowing his tools" shows proper respect.

When speaking to an adult (or anyone else), do not mumble. Avoid slang. Be sure to use such words as "sir," "ma'am," "please," and "thank you." Make eye contact.

b. How to address people and make proper introductions

When addressing adults, again it is respectful to use their last names, as in "Mr Smith" or "Miss Jones." When making introductions, say a woman's name before a man's. If they are both the same sex, use the the older person's name before using younger person's. For example, you would introduce Mr. Smith and Miss Jones by saying "Miss Jones, I would like for you to meet Mr. Jones." Be sure to allow room so that they may shake hands. You would introduce Mr. Smith to your friend William by saying "Mr. Smith, this is my friend William." You may then tell something about William: "William and I have known each other since the third grade."

c. Questions to avoid

Do not comment on any physical defects in a person, or ask personal questions:

"How long have you had that wart on your elbow?"

"Don't you think you should try to lose a little weight?"

"How much money do you make?"

"How old are you?" -- Speaking to someone your senior

d. How to think of pleasant things to say

• Think of something that has happened to you in the recent past that you found pleasant and talk about that.
• When talking to adults with children or grandchildren, ask about them.
• Ask where the person grew up and what it was like there.
• Ask if the person has a pet, and if so, what that pet's favorite thing to do is.
• Tell about a recent Pathfinder event, such as a campout or a club meeting.
• Tell about an honor that you have enjoyed earning, and what you had to do to earn it.

e. How to show concern for the feelings of others

One way to show concern for others during a conversation is to practice active listening. In active listening, you restate what the other person has said to you, but in different words. If you misunderstand what was said and restate it incorrectly, your partner in conversation will know and can clarify. Active listening is one way to let the other person know that you are indeed listening.

One mistake that people often make in conversing is changing the subject before the partner was ready to. For example:

Bad Form

Alice: "My sister was in a car accident yesterday."

Bob: "That's too bad. Did I tell you I beat level 14 in 'Mega Chipmunk Death Rally' this morning?"

Better Form

Alice: "My sister was in a car accident yesterday."

Bob: "Your sister was in an accident? Is she OK?"

It is also important to show concern for the person before considering other ramifications:

Bad Form

Alice: "My sister was in a car accident yesterday."

Bob: "Really? She still owes me five bucks!"

Better Form

Alice: "My sister was in a car accident yesterday."

Bob: "I'm sorry to hear that. Did she have to go to the hospital?"

f. What to say when you answer the door

When answering the door, if the visitor has come to speak to an adult in the family and he is known to you, invite him in while you get the person requested. If the visitor is unknown, kindly ask him to wait until you can get the person requested. If no one else is home, tell the visitor so only if you know the visitor, and ask if you can relay a message for him.

g. How to answer the telephone correctly

When answering the phone at home, nothing beats this old classic: "Hello?" It is also good to say after this greeting the period of day, that is:

12:00 AM	-	11:59 AM	Morning
12:00 PM	-	5:59 PM	Afternoon
6:00 PM	-	8:59 PM	Evening
9:00 PM	-	11:59 PM	Night

There is no need to give out personal information by saying "Anthony residence, this is Susan," nor do you need to tell them the number they have just dialed. A simple "Hello" is all you really need.

When answering for a business, the rules change. In this case, you are expected to answer with the name of the company, as in "Spacely Sprockets, how may I help you?"

If you ever need to answer the phone at your church, you should answer the same as if it were a business: "Northside SDA Church, how may I help you?". You needn't say your name, unless the person on the other end of the line asks who he/she is speaking to.

5. If you want to use your gift of speech to God's glory, what should your prayer be? (Psalm 19:14)

Psalm 19:14 (New International Version)

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

6. List seven points showing the power of correct posture. Check your posture and body profile. Demonstrate how to stand and sit correctly. Read Education, by Ellen G. White, page 198, paragraph 3, and note the benefits mentioned that come to you as a result of correct posture.

Good posture does the following:

1. Provides optimal balance.
2. Optimizes breathing.
3. Affects the circulation of bodily fluids.
4. Reduces back pain.
5. Protects the joints from strain.
6. Expresses confidence.
7. Is considered an integral part of physical attractiveness.
8. Improves the body's ability to carry heavy loads.
9. Protects against spinal deformity as a person ages.

Education, page 198, paragraph 3 reads as follows:

"Among the first things to be aimed at should be a correct position, both in sitting and in standing. God made man upright, and He desires him to possess not only the physical but the mental and moral benefit, the grace and dignity and self-possession, the courage and self-reliance, which an erect bearing so greatly tends to promote. Let the teacher give instruction on this point by example and by precept. Show what a correct position is, and insist that it shall be maintained."

7. Give two reasons why physical fitness is important. Explain the relationship between proper diet, exercise, and weight control.

Exercise keeps your organs functioning properly, avoiding blockages and poor circulation. A healthy diet is also important for weight control. Excessive weight causes disease.

On average, the number of calories you consume should equal the number of calories you burn. Calories enter the body through the things we eat and drink - in other words, from the diet. Calories are burned by physical activity. The more physically active you are, the more calories you will burn.

If you consume more calories than you burn, you will gain weight. If you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight. If you caloric intake equals your caloric expenditure, you will maintain your current weight. This applies no matter what you weight is. There is no weight beyond which a person cannot get any heavier (unless the excess weight results in death, as it often does).

8. Tell the importance of proper grooming, including bathing, body hygiene, breath, proper care of clothes, shoes, etc.

Importance

A person with poor hygiene is unpleasant to be around. Foul odors, dirty clothing, and gross things stuck between the teeth have a tendency to drive people away. Most people will not take an habitually unclean person seriously, and will instead do everything they can to avoid that person. It is very difficult to be an effective witness for your faith under these conditions.

Social cues

Be on the lookout for social cues that indicate you may have a problem. If someone is continually averting their eyes from you, or you find them staring at some part of your face other than your eyes, discretely excuse yourself and have a look in a mirror. Check your teeth, and make sure your face is clean.

If a person offers you a piece of gum or a breath mint, it may be a polite way of curing your bad breath. The proper response is "Thank you." Accept the breath freshener without asking why it was offered. Perhaps you'd rather not know!

9. Describe the proper way to wash your hair and care for your "hair tools."

Wet your hair thoroughly, being sure it is wet all the way to the scalp. Pour 15-30 ml of shampoo into the palm of your hand, and then work it into the hair to form a lather. Lather the hair until all surfaces have been washed. Rinse thoroughly - if any shampoo is left in the hair, it will dry in place forming clumps of yellowish flakes.

Comb or brush your hair immediately after washing it, and again several times through the day. Longer hair needs more frequent care. Very short hair may not need combing at all. When you are finished combing or brushing, run water over the comb or brush to clean it. Over time, a comb will collect a build-up of dirt which is difficult to rinse off. When this happens, run the teeth of the comb through the bristles of the brush. Rinse both.

Do not share a comb, brush, hat, or other headgear with another person, as this can facilitate the spread of lice.

10. Describe the proper care for your hands and fingernails.

Hands should be washed frequently throughout the day, especially after using the restroom. Germs are most commonly spread by hand-contact, and washing them is an effective way to prevent their spread. Be sure to use soap on the palms, fingers, the back of the hands, and under the fingernails, and rinse well. Many people avoid handwashing because it dries their hands, but this is really an effect of improper rinsing. If you find that handwashing still dries your skin even after thorough rinsing, apply a lotion. It is even more important to wash dried, cracked skin, as the cracks offer an entry for germs into your system. Drink plenty of water to keep your skin hydrated.

Fingernails should be trimmed neatly using nail clippers. Do not chew the fingernails or tear them off. Clean beneath the nails whenever you see dirt under them.

11. Know the importance of daily "soul-grooming" and of building a Christian character and why "belonging to Christ" makes a difference in the way you dress and act.

"Soul-grooming" is done through daily communion with God. Any relationship is built by communication, and we communicate with God through prayer and by reading His Word. It is best to start the day by talking to the Lord, asking Him to be with you through the day. Time spent praying over specific temptations you face will better prepare you to resist that temptation.

"Christian character" is demonstrated when you do the right thing even when it is difficult. Be in the practice of always telling the truth, and put the feelings of others ahead of your own desires. This will add compassion to your character.

Knowing that you belong to Christ will give you a sense of self-worth and confidence. After all, Christ died for you, so He must feel you were worth that sacrifice. Because He has forgiven you of your sins, you will want to treat His other children with love and respect. You will find yourself wanting to lead others to Him, and help them resist temptation.

People go through several important physiological changes during the pre-teen and teen years. They find that their sexual desires begin to waken, and sometimes they may find them difficult to control. Dressing modestly will help others to control these desires, while dressing suggestively and engaging in flirtation can unnecessarily excite a person of the opposite sex. When you belong to Christ, you will not willingly become a stumbling block to another person's salvation. You will find your self-worth anchored in being a child of the King rather than through gaining the attention and acceptance of other people.

12. Discuss scriptural guidelines that will help you cope with your sexuality and keep your thoughts-life clean. Discuss intelligently the "dos and don'ts" of dating.

Scriptural Guidelines

Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things.
— Philippians 4:8 (World English Bible)

The longer one thinks about sinful things, the more likely that person is to engage in that activity. Philippians 4:8 recommends against impure thoughts.

You shall not commit adultery.
— Exodus 20:14 (World English Bible)

Or don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortioners, will inherit the Kingdom of God.
— 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10 (World English Bible)

Adultery and sexual immorality are any sexual activities that take place outside the marriage.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
— Matthew 5:27,28 (World English Bible)

This text tells us that adultery is a sin that a person can commit in private. Do not entertain ideas of sexual immorality, even in your own private thoughts.

Dating

When inviting a person on a date, it is better to immediately reveal what you have in mind rather than asking if the person is busy. Asking if the person is busy may cause them to feel cornered. After admitting that they are not busy, they will feel trapped if they do not like the plans you are proposing.

Make sure you go to the door when you arrive. It is rude to stay in the car and honk the horn, Honking the horn will also disturb the neighbors. If invited inside to meet the parents, do so as pleasantly as you can.

Do not attempt to get your date to do anything you know violates either his/her or your own sense of morality. Pay attention to your date during your time together. It is rude to invite someone on a date and then spend most of your time together focusing on someone else (of either sex). It goes without saying that you should never flirt with someone else during the date.

When the date is concluded, escort your date back to the front door. Don't just dump her out of the car at the curb. Make sure you return home at the appointed time. Doing otherwise will make you look bad to your date's parents, and may get your date into trouble. This will not reflect well on you.

13. List four reasons why your face is important to you, and show how the way you exercise and sleep can improve your facial appearance. What relationship do thoughts have to facial "print-out"? Describe proper facial care.

Importance

Reasons why your face is important:

1. It is the first thing that others see.
2. It is the first thing that you see (when you look in the mirror).
3. It is one of the main communicators of your emotions.
4. Most people define "pretty" or "handsome" based on the way a person's face appears.
5. People recognize you more by your face than by any other part of your body. Your face defines you.

Sleep and Exercise

Because your face is so central to who you are, you should take care to make it look its best. Lack of sleep will not only make you tired, it will make you look tired too. Regular (and sufficient) sleep will keep you from looking tired all the time. Regular exercise will do this too, because if you exercise regularly, you will not only be more fit, you will have more energy.

Facial Print-out

People can adopt a facial expression as a voluntary action. However, because expressions are closely tied to emotion, they are more often involuntary. It can be nearly impossible to avoid expressions for certain emotions, even when it would be strongly desirable to do so; a person who is trying to avoid insult to an individual he or she finds highly unattractive might nevertheless show a brief expression of disgust before being able to resume a neutral expression. The close link between emotion and expression can also work in the other direction; it has been observed that voluntarily assuming an expression can actually cause the associated emotion.

Facial Care

The most important aspect of facial care is regular and frequent cleansing. This can be accomplished with soap and water. Begin by wetting the hands and face with water, then lather the hands with soap and apply to the face. Work the soap over the surface of the face, rubbing it gently. Then rinse thoroughly. If desired, a lotion can be applied to the face to moisturize the skin, but little proof exists that this provides any health benefits at all. However, if the use of a moisturizer builds a person's confidence, it will do more good than harm.

14. Know the rules of table etiquette which make it easier for you and those around you, such as what to do with your knife and fork after using them. Know how to be a welcome dinner guest and a joy to your hostess.

Table manners are the etiquette used when eating. This includes the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures have different standards for table manners. Many table manners evolved out of practicality. For example, it is generally impolite to put elbows on tables since doing so creates a risk of tipping over bowls and cups. Within different families or groups, there may be less rigorous enforcement of some traditional table manners of their culture while still maintaining others. For example, some families ignore elbows on the table or mixing of foods.

Table Layout

A properly set table

• Bread plates are to the left of the main plate, beverage glasses are to the right.
• Salad fork, knife and soup spoon are further from the main plate than the main course knife, fork and spoon. Dessert utensils are either placed above the main plate or served with dessert.
• The sharp edge of the knife blade faces the plate.

General Behavior

• Chew with your mouth closed.
• Do not talk at an excessively loud volume.
• Refrain from coughing, sneezing or blowing nose at the table.
• Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any other time.
• Do not make unbecoming noises while eating.
• Do not play with food or table utensils.
• Do not single out or chastise someone who has shown poor table manners.
• Do not put your elbows on the table or slouch. It is acceptable, however, to rest for-arms, up to the elbow, on the table.
• Always ask the host or hostess to be excused before leaving the table.
• Do not stare at anyone while he or she is eating.
• Never talk on your phone at the table. If urgent, ask host or hostess to be excused, and go outside. Apologize after returning.

Utensils

• Do not eat food with your fingers unless you are eating foods customarily eaten with fingers, such as bread, French fries, chicken wings, pizza, etc. At more formal occasions, it is acceptable to eat asparagus or some romaine lettuce dishes with ones hands. However, as this is an obscure etiquette rule, in more casual settings, it is customary to use utensils.
• The fork may be used either in the American (use the fork in your left hand while cutting; switch to right hand to pick up and eat a piece) or the Continental (fork remains in the left hand) fashion -- either is now acceptable.
• The fork is used to convey any solid food to the mouth.
• The knife blade should be placed on the edge of your plate when not in use. The blade should always face inward.
• When you have finished eating soup, the spoon should be placed to the side of the saucer, not left in the bowl.
• Keep your napkin on your lap. At more formal occasions all diners will wait to place their napkins on their laps until the host or hostess places his or her napkin on his or her lap.
• When eating barbecue or some other messy foods, a 'bib' napkin may be provided for and used by adults. Usually these foods are also eaten by hand, and wet wipes or paper napkins should be used to clean the hands.
• When using paper napkins, never ball them up or allow stains to show.
• Use your silverware from the outside moving inward toward the main plate. (Salad fork, knife and soup spoon are further from the main plate than the main course knife, fork and spoon. Dessert utensils are either placed above the main plate or served with dessert.)

Dining

• A prayer or 'blessing' may be customary in some families, and the guests should join in even if they are not religious or do not follow the same religion. Most prayers are made by the host before the meal is eaten. Instead or in addition, a 'toast' may be offered.
• Do not start eating until (a) every person is served or (b) those who have not been served request that you begin without waiting. At more formal occasions all diners will wait to begin until the hostess or host lifts a fork or spoon.
• When a dish is presented 'family style', the food is served to one's plate and then passed on to the next person. put the food on your left, take some and pass to the person next to you.
• When serving, serve from the left and pick up the dish from the right. Beverages are both served and removed from the right.
• Eat soup noiselessly and with the side of the spoon.
• Hot drinks should never be poured into the saucer to cool but should be sipped from the cup. Alternatively, ice may be used to cool them.
• Seasoning ones meal prior to tasting can be considered rude and may insult the chef.

At the end of the meal

• It is acceptable in most places to not finish all of the food on your plate.
• When finished with your meal, place your knife and fork with handles at the 4 o'clock position and the tines of the fork down to signal to the server you are done.
• Except in a public restaurant, do not ask to take some of your uneaten food away from the meal after it ends, and never when attending a formal dinner.

15. List ten principles to help you overcome self-consciousness and social embarrassment.

The most important thing for a Christian to remember is that no matter how awkward they are, the Ruler of the Universe loves them and gave His life for them.

Spend some time preparing for a social event. Make sure you are clean, your hair is clean, and combed, and your breath is fresh. Put on a clean set of clothes before setting out, and wear deodorant or antiperspirant. Antiperspirant will keep you from sweating. Deodorant will keep your sweat from smelling bad.

It also helps to recognize that you are not the only person who may feel self-conscious in a social situation. Every other boy and girl your age will also be worrying about doing something goofy, so the chances are pretty good that if you make an embarrassing error, everyone else will be so preoccupied with themselves that they do not notice.

Still, sometimes you will do something embarrassing, and others will notice. In this case, it is best to acknowledge your fault, admit embarrassment, and try to see the humor in the situation. That can be very hard in the heat of the moment, but if you can pull it off with grace, people will be quick to forgive, and they will not think poorly of you.

So here are ten principles to remember:

1. Christ died for you
2. Make sure your hair is clean and combed.
3. Make sure your face and body are clean
4. Wear deodorant/antiperspirant.
5. Brush your teeth and have a breath mint or sugar-free gum
6. You are not the only self-conscious person
7. People are unlikely to be focusing on you
8. Admit your mistakes
9. Admit your embarrassment
10. A little humor goes a long way

For Young Ladies

17. Know how to choose a hairstyle that makes you look your best.

The choice of a hairstyle is a personal one, but if the goal is to look your best, the generally accepted advice is to style it to even out the shape of your head and face. A girl with a long, narrow face should choose a hairstyle that makes her face look a little wider. A girl with a round, wide face should use her hair to "lengthen" her face by exposing more of her forehead and adding height.

18. Tell the proper style of clothes to wear if you are tall, plump, short, or thin or have a heavy hipline or full bosom.

The most important aspect for a Christian woman to consider when choosing her clothing is modesty. Immodest clothing will make it difficult for young men to control their thoughts.

Stripes can be used to emphasize or play down height or width. Vertical stripes emphasize height while playing down width, while horizontal stripes emphasize width while playing down height. Therefore, a tall, thin girl should wear horizontal stripes, and a short, plump girl should wear vertical stripes. Tall girls may not wish to wear shoes with high heels, while shorter girls may benefit from them.

For Young Men

16. Tell how to have well-groomed hair and how to choose a hairstyle that makes you look your best.

Wash your hair at least every other day, and comb it several times between shampooing. Long hair needs to be washed more frequently, while short hair requires less maintenance.

The choice of a hairstyle is a personal one, but if the goal is to look your best, the generally accepted advice is to style it to even out the shape of your head. A person with a long, narrow face should choose a hairstyle that makes the face look a little wider. A person with a round, wide face should use the hair to "lengthen" the face by exposing more of the forehead and adding height.

17. List clothing rules and the proper style of clothes to wear if you are tall and thin or short and stocky.

A tall, thin boy should wear a shirt with horizontal stripes, and a short stocky boy should wear a shirt with vertical stripes. Horizontal trips emphasize width and play down height. Vertical stripes emphasize height and play down width.

18. Tell why Christians should practice good manners. Demonstrate how to seat a girl or woman at a table and how to properly escort her from home to a social function.

Christians should practice good manners because they are ambassadors of Christ. Rudeness on the part of a Christian reflects poorly on all Christians. Unfortunately, many professed Christians do not practice good manners, leading the many to conclude that Christianity produces rude people.

When escorting a girl or a woman, the boy should offer her the crook of his elbow. The woman may slip her arm around his, and they may walk arm-in-arm to her seat. The boy then pulls her seat out for her so that she may step in front of it. As she sits, he should push the seat forward. This can and should be practiced in a club environment, but the instructor must be vigilant that no one tries to pull the chair out from under a person who is sitting. This might seem like a funny stunt to pull, but it can cause serious injury, and it is very bad manners. Do not assume that your Pathfinders will know this ahead of time.